Seventy-One

Entering the Fold

      “Listen, sweet-heart...call me in twenty?”
      I laughed, my mind returning to what Noin had been doing when I’d said that, “I’m coming...” she laughed naughtily and I could tell she was kissing someone, “And from the sounds of it, you are too...”
      She broke out into laughter, “Not yet...”
      That didn’t surprise me in the least.
      “Make it a quickie, I’m heading...” I put the car in gear as she hung up.
      Noin had left for that meeting after I told her what was going on. She didn’t seem upset from it, and Heero wouldn’t care. Nikki was seeing to that.
      I was looking forward to this. While Nikki and I had talked, I hadn’t really gotten to ask her everything I’d wanted to...the situation hadn’t allowed it.
      Now I could see what she’d been up to...
      The drive was way too long. An hour. I’d liked it better when Quatre’d chose places within five minutes of where I was staying.
      Of course, if it really bothered me, I could just stay with them...it wouldn’t be hard...I’d just ask Nikki and she’d see to the fine details.
      She was relaxed and sitting on the swing when I pulled up. Heero was laying with his head on her lap and they were both staring at the surrounding forest.
      “You look healthy.” I noted, joining them on the porch.
      Nikki jumped slightly as Heero turned to me languidly, “So do you.” he agreed.
      I smiled at that, tilting my head in an assenting way, “Ready?” I asked Nikki.
      She nodded as Heero sat up, then stood.
      I looked her over, glad that we some-what matched.
      Heero stood and they exchanged a kiss and hug.
      “I’ll be back.”

      He nodded, then turned to me, “Be careful out there, we don’t know what Nikol has planned.”
      I nodded, “I will.”
      He kissed her lightly again, muttering his love and kissing her again when she returned the sentiment...then went into the house.
      I turned to Nikki and offered my arm, “So, where to now?” she asked, leaning against me.
      I thought that over, “I have no idea, let’s just go into town and make a night of it from there.”
      She nodded, agreeing as we reached the car. I opened the door for her.
      We decided to go to the movies first. There was one I’d been dying to see and Noin was refusing...but I had a feeling Nikki would want to see it...I was lucky, she did.
      After that, we found a quaint little restaurant to eat at.
      “So where did you go?” I asked, meaning when she’d left me on Libra.
      “Home.”
      I nodded, “I’d thought as much...”
      “How ‘bout you?” she asked, “What happened after you destroyed Libra?”
      I shrugged, “A lot.”
      She nodded, looking down, “Did you regret?”
      I shook my head, “Only losing the few friends I had.”
      She nodded, “Me too, only, the closest ones are still here.”
      I made a face, “You going to school?”
      She shrugged, “I was...until this came up.”
      I nodded, “What you majoring in?”
      She shook her head, “Undecided at the moment. I might just fall back on something computer.”
      I shook my head, “Naw...don’t do that. Where’s the challenge?”
      She smiled, “I’m Quatre’s personal assistant...or will be evenntually.”
      “And you think...” I shook my head in a confused way, “That he won’t let you go to school...or what?”
      She gave me her typical ‘Don’t make sense.’ look.
      I shrugged, “Well, really?”
      “I just lost focus on school a long time ago...”
      I nodded, “War does that...”
      “No, even before this all star...”
      I shook my head, “No, dear. You were center to a lot of action when you were fourteen. When you’re used to your life being continually on the brink, coming back to the dull safety of civilian life is...to say the least...drab. You can’t expect that anything even remotely normal will be in anyway interesting.” I thought back, “You obviously needed more stimulation with me. Had...”
      “What?”
      I shrugged, “What, you’re...games...weren’t for more challenge? You got bored as soon as you had’em all wrapped.”
      She frowned at that.
      I smiled, “So how does that work now? What do the others do when you play?”
      She grinned, “Playing hasn’t been much on my to do list.”
      “Honestly?”
      She shrugged, “Honestly...but I did have to get Heero yesterday.
      “Really? How so?”
      She smiled and leaned forward. After that it was like old times...only no stress involved and no minute base to patrol...and no immediate war. I didn’t have to worry about the Gundams attacking, and she didn’t have to worry about someone tapping our lines...dinner...desert...a bar...dancing...
      It was almost four in the morning by the time we got back to Quatre’s.
      The house was silent as we entered, and, as per agreement with Noin, I was going to just crash on the couch for the night.
      Nikki brought out my blankets and pillows.
      “You shouldn’t have left.” I informed her before she could walk away. I’d really wanted to tell her that for so long now...
      She pursed her lips, meeting my eyes.
      “I really needed your counsel.”
      She shook her head, “I couldn’t have stayed there. You know that.” she sank to a squatting position before me.
      I pulled out the worn sheet of paper from my pocket and unfolded it, glancing at her, wondering if she recognized it. It was the letter she’d written me when she’d tried to leave...the only thing I’d have had left of her if she hadn’t been caught. The thing she thought would justify her abandonment...I took a breath, then started reading it, “Milliardo,” I glanced at her again, “I can’t stay here any longer...” I skimmed some, “I can’t believe you destroyed Barge, and I don’t care if it was the only way. I’m leaving.”
      I didn’t like the reminder of my past...I’d stopped reading it when I’d joined the Preventers. I hadn’t even realized I still had it until Noin had dug it out of a bag when we’d found our house after Daken’s coup had been put down...I hadn’t started carrying it again until I’d heard Heero had become...‘Part of a pack...’ Duo had put it. Then he’d told me the names of this...‘Pack’ the names of the girls that had replaced the family the boys had lost...lost or never knew.
      She bit her lip.
      “That was all I had left of our friendship. A cryptic letter. Then when you were gone...” I shook my head, remembering, “Nikki,” I met her eyes, “Who will I rely on?” she didn’t look away from my eyes as I repeated my first argument, she looked hurt, “You’ll just leave me stranded?” I sat completely back repeating the second, “You’re just walking out on everyone who needs you? You’re just giving up...” The last ditch effort.
      “I couldn’t do anything else, Milliardo...”
      I jumped up, all the emotions surfacing finally, “Stop calling me that!”
      She looked overly shocked...
      I paced around in a circle.
      “Zechs...”
      I sighed, sitting down again, and calming myself. I didn’t want the night to end like this. “Sorry...”
      She nodded.
      Thtt...
      Was that footsteps? I looked around but saw no one else. Everyone was still sleeping...besides, it sounded more like something being drug across a wall...like a sleeve or a hand...
      “It would have been nice if you’d stayed.” I wanted to be sure she understood that as I put the noise to the back of my mind.
      She averted her eyes and it looked as if she were trying not to say something.
      “So...”
      She shook her head finally, meeting my eyes again, “I told you when I left that I couldn’t stay.”
      “Why?”
      She stared at me, an entire world of emotions swimming in her eyes.
      “Because I destroyed Barge?”
      I had to know. It’d bothered me since she’d left...
      “Was it because of me?”
      Slowly she shook her head, her eyes un-focusing as she thought.
      “Nikki...”
      “I don’t know...” she whispered hoarsely after a long silence...a silence so long I thought she wouldn’t answer. “I really don’t know. All’s I knew is that I had to leave.”
      I nodded, remembering, “Why do you think I let you go?”
      That brought disbelief.
      “I knew you would have went a-wall, no questions asked...and I knew you’d get away with it...” I smiled slightly, remembering how pissed...and hurt...I’d been for the night after she left...for the long hours when I should have been sleeping...then came the pain...I chuckled, “Kaze of the maze could have re-stationed herself...discharged herself... legally killed herself...and had nothing more to do with us...”
      “Milliardo...”
      The familiarity I heard in the name stopped my immediate anger. I looked at her, realizing her eyes were full...and mine.
      She swallowed, “Zechs. I watched you destroy a place I called home at one point. I watched and was filled with horror that such a thing was needed. It wasn’t you that I couldn’t stand...” she swallowed again as tears found their way down her cheek, “But it was. I love you, Zechs...Milliardo...whoever you are...like the brother you were to me. Like my own father. Leaving you was one of the hardest things I ever had to do...” her eyes unfocused, “The hardest, maybe...I’m not sure anymore...”
      I nodded slowly.
      She wasn’t done yet.
      “Like you said earlier, I was fourteen...you treated me like an equal when I should have been at home with my little chittering friends...admiring you...saying that you had to be the bravest of men...but I wasn’t in the safety of my mothers house...I was in the safety of your house. I was under your direct protection, and I was an adult.”
      I shook my head, “You were a child forced to grow up too quickly. You were a child who should’ve been going to school. Instead you...Heero...Sam...Kris...Duo...Wufei...Trowa...Quatre...you weren’t at home watching the big boys and girls play at war. You were playing. You were making decisions that could make or break hundreds of lives...and you chose what was right for you. You chose to save yourself and those you cared for.”
      She nodded slowly, “And forsake those who needed me...” it was like a self accusation.
      I couldn’t exactly argue that...
      “I forsook...” she started naming names then...names that I recognized but had no face...a few of them had trust...a few of them had care...a few of them had intimacy...but none had a face...all these people she could remember...all these people I’d forgotten...
      “And Suretta...” the last name was whispered as if she’d intended it to be overlooked.
      I shook my head, being roused, “Not Suretta. She left you. She...”
      “Needs my support.”
      “That’s not true, Nikki. She may have before, but no longer. She has men...an army. She has Nikol. She has...”
      “Tran.” Nikki muttered.
      Another name without a face...
      “Ristran.”
      Suddenly I knew who she was talking about.
      I met her eyes, startled.
      She nodded, “He sent me a letter...”
      “Unmarked.” I remembered why she’d called me.
      She nodded, also seeming to remember, “I got letters from Suretta and Tran today. Both with the symbol not to show anyone...”
      “Beware of this, Nikki. It could be a trap.”
      Nikki slowly shook her head.
      “Nikki, you’re perception is tainted. You still have feelings for her, even if she has none for you...”
      “It’s Suretta...”
      Not a good argument, “You may have known her. But time has passed. Five years can change a man...woman...whatever. Five years can change anyone.” I shook my head as she looked about to protest, “Five years changed me. Five years changed you...five years changed those boys who rely on you as family...”
      Surprise registered in her eyes.
      “You’ve all changed...the only person who’s even remotely similar to the person they’d once been is Relena.”
      The words iced Nikki.
      Something else that had bothered me snapped, “Why don’t you like my sister?”
      She sank back on her heels, surprised. “What...relationship did she and Heero have?”
      I thought that over.
      “What feelings did she have for him?”
      I met her eyes.
      “And what would have happened if she won?”
      There was a type of fear in her voice I’d never heard...the type of fear that spoke of loss. The type of fear she must have dealt with every time Heero left the house for a mission.
      She shook her head, “Relena was the only person alive who could change what Heero and I had. Relena was the only person who could take him completely away from me.”
      I shook my head, “No one could do that. You’re his confidone...his lover...his sister...his mother...his world. You have been since Marimea was dealt with...more than likely since you first let him into your world no questions asked.”
      She smiled slightly, finally focusing on me, “I didn’t know that when your sister appeared and Heero forgot I existed.”
      I nodded, remembering that night...it had been so long ago...maybe three months now...maybe longer...maybe not so long...it was the past...I remember her glaring at my sister and getting irritated that I couldn’t reprimand her...
      As if her thoughts followed my own, she plopped back onto the floor and met my eyes, “Why didn’t you?”
      I smiled, “Because Relena would have played twenty questions. Because Noin would have instantly lost trust of you...” at her confused look I nodded, “I told her all about my confidone Kaze who left me to the wolves...”
      Oops.
      She was obviously hurt by that...but if I dwelled then she’d think that was still my mind set.
      “My confidone Kaze who played with my men’s mind and made them a little more loyal...”
      She shook her head.
      “What would have the public said?” I moved on, “What would Heero have said...” I had to smile at that, “What would the Preventers say?”
      She gave me an arch look and I grinned.
      “I’m well aware that it’s not completely logical...but then there was the entire game bit. It was fun...telling you I missed you in a hundred different ways...” I smiled at her, “Because I did. That was hard...when I...” I made air quotes, “‘Died’. It was hard not to just find you and let you take care of me.” I shook my head as it occurred to me what I was saying.
      She smiled wanly, “You didn’t give me any address to write back to you.”
      I smiled, feeling bad about that.
      “You could’ve coded it...addressed it without saying your name...”
      I laughed slightly, “That was also hard...writing you that letter...I tried not to. I tried to remain ‘dead’ for the entire world, but I couldn’t betray you like that...”
      She’d been smiling slightly until that...then she’d closed her eyes and bent her head forward and it occurred to me why.
      “Because I care about you, little sister,” I chucked her under the chin, “Because I knew that some day we would be together again. I knew that...even if I didn’t come back to life I’d find you, and then we could find Noin...”
      “Okay...”
      We both jumped at Wufei’s voice.
      “I’m tired of standing here. Eavesdropping is fun enough, but not when it’s just the reunion of siblings.”
      Nikki stood up to look the man in the eyes as he came the rest of the way into the living room and to her. He stopped too close and stared right back at her.
      She got disgusted, “Tcch...” she pushed him and he laughed, stepping back, then looked at me, “Good morning.”
      I nodded, “Morning.”
      He laughed, “My, aren’t you vocal all of the sudden.”
      I smiled, “Well, I just realized that you heard all of that.”
      I’d heard him earlier, the noise I’d decided to ignore.
      That put a damper on some of his amusement, “Do you have a problem with that?”
      I shook my head, “Yes and no.”
      He rose an eyebrow.
      “That was a private reunion.”
      Wufei shrugged, “I left it private.”
      I shook my head, still feeling a little peeved.
      It wasn’t that I’d said too much, it was that now he knew my weakness.
      He smiled as if reading my mind, “Loving them isn’t a weakness, you realize? It’s a strength. It gives you something to fight for. Something to protect. That’s what a soldier needs to be at his best, right?”
      The realization that I’d come to so long ago seemed foreign from him.
      When had he become human?
      He sat on a chair and Nikki clambered into his lap.
      It bit slightly...but not much. Noin would never...but she trusted me now. She realized that Nikki wasn’t a rival...that none of the girls were rivals...they could get away with it now, if they decided to get close to me...I had no doubt that I’d have a few more close friends within the next fortnight.
      I refocused on the present and started to listen to the two as she muttered her reprimands.
      I was tired...Nikki was tired...Wufei was tired. It didn’t take long for us all to decide it was bed time.
      “I’ll be out in a minute.” she muttered, entering the bathroom and shutting the door.
      I turned to Wufei.
      He grinned at me, “Welcome to the family.”
      I frowned at him.
      “You won that battle.” he smiled, “Nikki rides point so the others don’t get hurt.”
      Meaning that Nikki would get close to people and bring them into the circle if she thought them fit, or rebuke them if they didn’t reach her standard.
      I smiled, “And how long have you been a member of this illustrious group?”
      He grinned at that, “Since L-4.”
      That was surprising...but not.
      He nodded, spacing out, “That seems so long ago...”
      I remembered him writing a letter that first day on Earth...remembered wondering why the hell he was doing that...and his grin as he replied to Noin’s question.
      “So what do I do now?”
      He grinned at me, “Hold on tight, little boy, you’re in for a bumpy ride...”
      “What?”
      “They didn’t play games with you, so they’re not positive you’re wrapped...”
      “Hey!” his phrasing implied that I was.
      He laughed like something naughty had passed between children, “What? You’re not?”
      I blinked.
      He snickered again, “Nikki wrapped you so long ago you can’t remember it, and then made sure of the bond by...” he looked me over, “Kissing you’re neck...wasn’t it?”
      I nearly flushed at that, remembering that night, “How...”
      “Heero bitches to Duo, and Duo bitches to me...Heero bitches to me...they all do it. There was a time when all five of us would have turned against you had Heero made the gesture.”
      I shook my head, wondering how I’d made it out of that...
      Nikki had been kidnapped.
      “So now they’re gonna feel you out...” he grinned, “Not up...and don’t worry, none of’em’ll be...err...testing...you. You won’t have to worry about...embarrassment...”
      I had the distinct impression he was trying to make me blush.
      “Of course, you won’t be receiving any favors either...” his laughter was naughty again as he finally succeeded in his mission. “Sorry. Couldn’t resist.”
      It occurred to me what seemed so wrong about this.
      Wufei had let down his guard...Completely dropped the walls.
      I decided I may as well return the show of trust.
      “I can’t help but feel a bit upset about that...that was fun...”
      He grinned the naughty grin, “Not as fun as having them testing you...”
      I joined in his laughter now, feeling included...it’d been so long since I’d been included...so long since I could act like a boy trying to out-do his friends with shows of bravado and smoothness with the women...
      It was really too bad that they wouldn’t be playing me...as wrong as that may be. I loved Lucratzia, nothing could change that...
      But, like Nikki...like Heero...like all of them, I’d been forced to grow up too quickly...seeing one’s own sister being sprinted away to keep her from being killed...managing to survive the slaughter of one’s kin...did that. Knowing your sister didn’t know you...and having that sister be the only family left in the world...did that.
      War held no mercy for children.
      Nikki stepped out of the bathroom in her pajamas and I felt a little embarrassed. All they consisted of was a pair of pajama pants and a bikini top.
      Wufei was grinning at her, but didn’t seem to notice the amount of skin on show.
      “So you two have fun?” he asked, meaning when we went out.
      She nodded, returning the grin, “Lots. Yourself?”
      He shrugged, “Sally and I weren’t asleep yet when you guys came in...”
      She snickered, “Hope we didn’t interrupt.”
      He smiled, moving on, “I was just congratulating Zechs here.” he gestured to me with his head.
      Nikki looked me over, then grinned at Wufei, “I have a feeling you did more than congratulate him.”
      Wufei’s laughter was that same little boy laughter I’d never heard before...never expected to hear from him...
      I had to grin, “Something like that, yes...”
      She laughed, smiling at me, “Don’t put too much stalk in what he said...”
      I grinned, and couldn’t help but notice my grin matched Wufei’s, “I put plenty of stalk in what he said...” she rose an eyebrow, “Because what he said was true.”
      “And made you blush...”
      I smiled at her, focusing my tongue on my left eyetooth, shrugging slightly.
      Wufei watched me, then started laughing.
      Nikki shook her head, “All right, gentlemen, I won’t ask what was said. I’m going to bed.”
      Wufei and I exchanged a grin and he walked past her, disappearing down the hall muttering his good nights over his shoulder.
      She was looking at me with this look reminiscent of that party...
      Wufei died laughing, then checked it as he opened his bedroom door.
      I smiled at Nikki, realizing what she was doing.
      She laughed, “Good night.” she stepped forward and gave me a hug, then started down the hall.
      “Night.” I layed back on the couch.
      I heard her door shut, then the murmur of her talking to Heero...and the murmur of Wufei talking to Sally...
      I was asleep in five minutes.

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Kyeian