Forty-One

There and Back Again

      Confused by Sam and Quatre’s tension, I walked into the hall.
      As the door shut behind me, I looked up. Kat was walking quickly across the hall from Heero’s room to ours.
      “Kat!”
      She turned to look at me. “Yes?” she seemed embarrassed...or annoyed...maybe both...probably both.
      “What’s the matter?” I felt concerned.
      She bit her lip, “Nothing.” she didn’t seem to want to continue.
      Respecting her wishes, I nodded. I would check with Heero later.
      I grinned, remembering how Sam had told me to have her choose me an outfit, “Can you help me find something to wear to lunch?”
      She brightened slightly, “Sure,” she thought a moment, “Why?”
      “I was given orders to do so.” I went into the room.
      She raised her eyebrow questioningly as she followed.
      “Sam.” I explained.
      She nodded, understanding, and headed for my closet. “Do you want to be semi-formal, or all out?”
      I shrugged.
      She gave me an annoyed look, “If you don’t tell me...” she started, moving things around, she seemed to find something and stopped, “Jeans or slacks?”
      “Whatever.” I replied, Sam hadn’t told me so I didn’t care.
      “Slacks then.” she threw them onto the bed, changing her attention to shirts.
      I sat on the bed, taking off my shoes as she dug around. I started to strip off my jeans, forgetting how easily embarrassed she was.
      She turned to me, holding two shirts and stopped dead, whatever she was about to say, lost. She turned her back to me quickly, “Trowa!”
      I finished pulling the slacks on, grinning, “Sorry, Kitty...” I apologized, “I forgot you weren’t like Nikki or Sam.”
      She turned to me. “What do you mean by that?” she demanded.
      I blinked, “Nothing, it’s just...”
      “Just what?” she was slightly offended.
      I managed not to smile, “You ever see a man naked?”
      I probably shouldn’t have asked that...
      She blushed furiously, “No!”
      “So you’re a virgin.”
      I decided not to say anything else about sex as her eyes went wide.
      It occurred to me that she was either acting innocent or the guys had lied to me. According to both of them...and she had even affirmed it at one point...she had played games...so why was she...
      “How’d you manage that with Sam and Nikki...”
      “Trowa!” her voice was completely shocked.
      I grinned.
      Still blushing, she threw a shirt at me, “They’re not like that.”
      “No?” I didn’t really believe that.
      She swallowed, “No.”
      I pulled my shirt off and she turned away again, “What?” I dropped the shirt and walked over to her, draping my arms around her, wishing again she wasn’t so innocent.
      She didn’t say anything and I could feel how embarrassed she was.
      “It’s only my body.”
      She still didn’t say anything.
      I grinned and kissed her by the ear, she shivered. I could feel her heart beating quickly and turned her gently to me, brushing her lips once, then kissing her deeper, after a moment, she returned the kiss hesitantly...
      I pulled back, not allowing myself to continue. This was Kat, my Kitty...She was innocent and scared, I could feel it.
      Her heart beat had accelerated and her body nearly vibrated with it.
      I stepped back, dropping my arms, “Sorry...I shouldn’t have...I...” I shook my head, “Sorry...”
      Her eyes were wide again, “Trowa...”
      I’d never heard that tone before...
      I turned back to the bed.
      Suddenly I could feel her behind me, unsure. Finally, she came to a decision, not the one I was hoping for...but not one I could fight. Her hand brushed lightly across my back and I shivered.
      “Kitty...” I turned to look at her, cupping her face in my hands, “We can’t...”
      “Why not?” she turned her face more into my hand.
      I shook my head, fighting that something inside me that was screaming to...but I couldn’t...I leaned toward her...I can’t...she met me halfway, no hesitation in her kiss this time...
      She pulled away, “Why not?” it was eerie how close that was to my thought...
      “Because you’re innocent, I don’t want to ruin that.” I can’t...
      “But you’re leaving after lunch...”
      “I’ll come back...”
      “But what if you don’t come back?”
      “I will. I promise.” I kissed her gently again, “As long as I have someone to come back to, I will come back...”


      I left Sam’s room, still confused. Whatever had made her leave my room so abruptly, and sound so...upset...Anyway, she seemed better now. And that dress...I shook my head...Women!
      I went to ransack my closet for something to match her dress. I didn’t really want to wear a tuxedo, but her satin gown wasn’t leaving much room for khakis. I sighed and pulled out the double breasted tux jacket from where it was trying to collect dust in the back of the closet.
      Luckily, it was in a garment bag. Sam would kill me if I wore a dusty jacket.
      Reluctantly, I changed into the tux and pulled a comb through my hair. I hated formal occasions and wished I’d remembered this in time to see if I could get her to match me instead...
      For now, though, I’d wear the tux and make her happy. But I felt like a penguin or something.
      Grumbling under my breath, I knocked on Sam’s door.
      “Come in, Lover Boy,” she called, laughter in her voice. I opened the door and went in.
      She was wearing the dress, and sitting at the vanity, brushing her long red-gold hair. I walked over and took the brush out of her hand and started brushing her hair for her.
      I was fascinated by it’s color, bemused by its smell.
      It smelled like...I don’t know what it smelled like, but it smelled very, very good.
      She laughed at me.
      “What?” I demanded, mock ferocious.
      “You!” she laughed, “You’re such a nice boy!”
      “Hey, I thought we’d established that I’m a man.”
      “Mm-hmm,” she agreed, “But trust me, you’re such a nice boy!”
      “If you say so. Is it okay if I’m confused about it?”
      “Perfect.” she purred smugly.


      Quatre was brushing my hair, if it could be called that. Really, he was just running one hand through it and using the other to make occasional absent passes with the brush. After completely confusing him with a little game of words, I reclaimed my brush and began twisting pieces of hair on top of my head, securing them with pins.
      I dug through the drawer of clips in the vanity while Quatre looked on. He wore the cutest expression of bemusement as he watched me. I found a gold clip set with carnelian and jade scarabs and put it in my hair. It matched the jade scarab necklace and bracelet I was already wearing. Looking through the jewelry box again, I found five little gold hoops for the five piercing in my ears, “Ready?” I asked, slipping into the four inch heels I had chosen to better match Quatre’s six-foot plus stature.
      “Not yet.” he replied. Now he was being smug. I quirked an eyebrow at him.
      “The host should always make an entrance.” he supplied.
      “Oh, so what’s the grand scheme for today’s send-off luncheon?” I was just a bit sarcastic.
      “I, the host, walk in wearing the most beautiful jewel they’ve ever seen,” he took my hands in his, “That would be you.” he whispered.
      “And then you wax poetic on the subject, and the guests lose their appetites due to over-sweet prose.” I replied, smiling sweetly and batting my eyelashes innocently.
      “Okay, okay, but we’ll wait a few minutes, and I’ll walk in with you on my arm, and we’ll shock them all.”
      “I don’t think too many of’em will actually be shocked.” I frowned, “Relena, Noin, maybe Sally...not Zechs, I don’t think...”
      “We’ll just have to do something shocking, then, won’t we?”
      “Quatre!” I yelped as he ran a finger up my spine. I was ticklish and the dress was backless, a bad combination.
      The conversation degenerated from there. Soon it wasn’t a conversation at all, but a childish tickling match, though it took me a while to find out where Quatre was ticklish.
      All too soon, and not soon enough, he looked at the clock and pronounced it time to leave.
      “Did you muss my hair?” I asked, turning so he could see the back of my head.
      “Do you want me to?”
      “How late did you want to be?” I asked pointedly.
      We left my room arm in arm, headed for the formal dining room.
      We stopped in front of the door while Quatre put his free hand on the scan plate. The door opened.
      They were all there, in their fancy clothes, and some in shocked expressions.
      They were all there, Nikki and her wolf, Kat and her teddy bear, not that Trowa was aware of her ownership yet. Kris and Duo were trying to pretend they were unaware of each other’s presence, not succeeding. Wufei looked...relaxed, for once. My mind filed that away right alongside Sally’s smug expression.
      Relena tried to look nonchalant, but glanced at Heero and Nikki every so often. Lucratzia watched all of this impassively, ignoring Zechs’ amused grin.
      Quatre and I walked arm in arm to the head of the table, where he sat on the end and I sat to his right. Relena sat across from me.
      The meal was served and eaten while we all made polite, if rather subdued small talk.
      It was a grand entrance to a sad occasion.
      All too soon, the meal was over and the men were preparing to leave.
      Back in his room, I watched Quatre change out of his tuxedo.
      We both remained silent for a long while.
      “You aren’t crying.” Quatre murmured at last, tying his shoes, “Anymore.” he amended.
      “Do I need to?” I asked quietly. “I trust you, Quatre, and I believe you when you say you’ll come home. I cried before because I was angry.”
      He finished tying his shoe and grabbed my hands roughly. His voice was hoarse when he said, “I’ll come home because you’re here.” He kissed me fiercely and then was gone.
      “I love you...” I whispered to the empty air.
      I stood up to join the others in watching the Gundams take off.


      I opened the bedroom door, Nikki close behind me, “Everything will be fine...” I started.
      She brushed passed me, sitting on the bed, kicking off her shoes, and pulling off her nylons.
      “Nikki, are you mad now?”
      “Heero...” she started then stopped. Her voice changing from ice to tears, “I don’t like this.” she looked to the floor, bracing herself with her hands and sitting back.
      I sat beside her, “Nikki,” I cupped her face with my left hand, forcing her face to me, “No one said you had to like it. Keep in mind, they’re only mobile dolls.”
      She sighed and leaned against me, “I’m just worried...”
      I kissed her gently, “I have to change, I’m not in the mood to go fight in this outfit...” I hugged her once and stood up, heading for the dresser, “And I think Quatre might be a bit upset with me. I’m doubting it was cheap...not that that sort of thing worries him, but, it’s the principal of the thing...”
      “So you’ll call, when the fighting stops, won’t you?”
      I considered this as I took off the sports jacket and shirt, “If you’re by a console, I will.”
      We were silent as she also stood and began to change.
      She sighed as I finished dressing. “Will you be sure to?” she asked, pulling the barrette out of her hair.
      I watched her hair cascade around her shoulders, “If you’re near a console.” I repeated, sitting beside her on the bed, pulling my shoes on, “Where will you be?”
      “If the others agree, in the study. But if not, I’ll hack.”
      I snorted, “You’ve been around me too long.” I kissed her on the forehead, grabbing her hands, “Come on.”
      For some reason, we were both extremely happy now. Holding her hand, we sprinted down the hall, laughing.
      I heard doors open behind us, then stopped, she turned to face me.
      I smiled, grabbing her hand again.
      This time, we walked sedately in the direction of the hangar.
      As we came into sight of the Gundams, Nikki’s entire bearing changed.
      She stopped.
      I turned to her, surprised, “Come on.” I tugged gently at her.
      Her eyes were glued to Zero, now they lowered to me, “What?”
      “Come on.” I led her across the hangar, gaining curious looks from the various workers in the area.
      The tow to Zero was where I’d left it, I grabbed it with one hand and pulled Nikki close, holding her.
      We started up.
      She clung to me, watching the ground as it dropped away.
      Kris and Duo came into view and stopped in surprise, watching as Nikki stood on the platform carefully, balancing herself, and I followed.
      “Here, I want you to see...” I encouraged her to enter the cockpit.
      Hesitantly, she entered, not passing the threshold.
      “Go...sit down...” I urged her. Looking over the small area.
      She sat lightly in the chair, her hands moving over the controls and buttons, pushing nothing. She glanced up at me, then did something on the keyboard.
      I decided not to ask.
      Suddenly her eyes went blank.
      Nikki...I wasn’t sure exactly what was going on.
      Calm... Zero cautioned me.
      I swallowed, trying to relax...That’s almost funny, you damned machine...
      She was looking into the past, or so I assumed. In all likely hood, Zero was showing her something.
      I waited as patiently as I could, wanting very much to break the connection.
      A screen flashed on to my left, revealing Duo sitting in the seat, the naughty expression on his face changed to shocked as he realized what was happening.
      “Heero, what are you doing?” he demanded, though he couldn’t see me.
      “What do you think, Duo?” I replied calmly...more calm than I felt...
      Nikki gasped, her eyes refocusing. I pulled her out and held her upper half over the side before she completely focused.
      She puked over the edge.
      “You all right, Omaesan?”
      Taking a few heavy breaths, she turned to me, her eyes wide and scared, “What was that?” she asked, shivering slightly and hugging herself.
      “What did you see?” I asked, hugging her to me.
      She pulled herself closer to me, “You...” she took a deep breath, “And Milliardo...”
      I forced my discomfort from that away...“Then what?”
      “You were fighting, here in space...It was horrible...but you were both in control...”
      Both in control?
      “At one point you were fighting each other...then not...it was confusing...lots of changing...”
      “You all right?” Kris’s voice carried to us from the floor, where Duo had rejoined her along with Trowa and Kat.
      Nikki shuttered once, heavily, “You’ll have to take me down, I won’t be able to.” she murmured, burying her face into my neck.
      I nodded and lowered us down.
      “What the hell were you doing!” Duo demanded, upset as we landed.
      I met his eyes silently, what could I tell him? It wasn’t like I’d intended that...but...Reassuring Nikki would help the others.
      Nikki was completely relaxed against me, I kissed her ear, “Don’t fall asleep, Love.” I murmured.
      “I won’t.” she replied, nuzzling me.
      “What happened?” Kris demanded.
      “I put her in Zero.” I shrugged, “Zero showed her some of my battle with Zechs.”
      “Then why did she puke?” Kat demanded.
      “Zero does that to you...” Trowa responded, wrapping an arm around her, meeting my eyes.
      I smiled slightly and nudged Nikki to look. She turned slightly and smiled, relaxing against me again, she exchanged a glance with Kat.
      Kat smiled in that sweet way she had, implying that something had happened.
      I thought about that a second, studying the two...I could tell they’d get together now...they were, even if they didn’t realize it.
      One of the workers came up to her with a cup of water and an empty cup.
      “Here you go, Miss...” he was watching me warily without really looking at me.
      I smiled as she accepted them and rinsed her mouth out, “Thank you...” she muttered, grateful.
      He smiled shyly at her, taking the cups back. I was almost surprised to note he was about my own age...
      “Do you want some more?” he asked, still shy.
      He may be my age, but he wasn’t very experienced. It was cute...little kid cute...
      She smiled again, “No thank you, that was good...Thank you very much.”
      He smiled, appreciating that...then looked at me again and murmured something quickly that ended up meaning ‘no problem’ but took a second to comprehend, then disappeared.
      “Heero!” Relena’s voice carried to me and I tried to see her as Nikki tensed.
      “Of course she has to be here...” she murmured to someone, her tone bitter.
      I decided it best to ignore that.
      I also managed to ignore any other backhanded statements they made to each other. It wasn’t my business what they meant by what they said...I just needed to keep a lid on it so it didn’t boil over.
      I was relieved when Wufei finally made his appearance along with Quatre. They both looked sedated or something...which was funny, because it was basically how I felt.
      Nikki looked particularly satisfied when I only exchanged a chaste hug with Relena, and Relena only bristled a little bit when Nikki kissed me...of course, when I went to leave the tears in Nikki’s eyes spoke louder than words...so did the lack of them in Relena’s eyes. She was smiling happily at me as if I’d already returned.
      The smile was lost, however, when I told Nikki I loved her with another hug and kiss...and the hugs I exchanged with Sam, Kris...that surprised me, and Kat. Those hugs were more intimate than the slight squeeze Relena’d offered...she didn’t like me kissing Kat on the forehead either...
      “Be careful...be safe...” I couldn’t be sure if they’d all said it, or just one of them...or a few...or what. It was said and meant, and I had every intention of listening to it.
      Then we were leaving...leaving the comfort of loving women and warm rooms to the emptiness of fighting...fighting for no reason other than stupidity...
      Why was I chosen for this? What made me the one able to deal better than any other? I was glad, knowing that I’d come back and Nikki would be here, waiting for me...I could picture her tears...I didn’t care if was conceited or not...it’s what would happen...
      I wondered what Nikki’d done as we flew, scanning files and trying to figure out what she’d typed in. I gave up, however, when Duo reminded me we’d be fighting soon.
      It was nice to fight again, though, which bothered me. The movements of Zero were as good as ever and the only problem I experienced was the smell.
      The entire cockpit smelled like Nikki.
      It wasn’t a bad smell, but it was distracting.
      We ended up destroying that damned base...I sincerely hoped no one would decide it was a good tourist attraction again...it was a pain in the ass to deal with over and over again. Couldn’t people understand that? I decided not to mention that as it occurred to me that Quatre had been financing it...
      When the fighting was over, I looked to my watch, just after one thirty in the morning...
      My call to Nikki was brief...as brief as I could make it. It consisted of me telling her we’d be back in about eleven hours...yes we were fine...no there was no severe damage...yes it was destroyed...and answering the other fifty-million questions she managed to come up with.
      “Heero, let’s stop at the closest colony and buy’em something...” Duo said after I hung up. His screen was in the bottom corner of my right screen. Quatre’s in the top left, Trowa’s was in the top right, and Wufei’s was on the bottom left.
      “That sounds good to me...” Trowa agreed, “I want to get Kat a necklace...”
      “I can agree with that. But what do you think I should get Sam?” Quatre asked at the same time.
      “She likes sticky stuff.” I replied, smirking.
      “What?” Trowa and Quatre demanded, confused.
      I ignored them, focused on Wufei’s screen, trying to predict his response.
      Duo was grinning naughtily.
      “What?” Wufei demanded as I continued waiting, “I didn’t say anything...”
      “Exactly.” Duo replied, still grinning, “Who you buying for? Which cream dish you get into?”
      Wufei grinned in response, “Sorry, I don’t kiss and tell...”
      “I’m almost positive you did more than kiss...” Trowa muttered.
      Wufei nodded, “Much more, but you don’t get to know more than that. I’ll pick Relena something up so Nikki...”
      “I was going to get something for both of them...” I interrupted.
      My comrades turned to look at me, “That might not be wise, Lover Boy...” Duo muttered, “Unless you like cat fights...”
      “What do you mean?” I had a sneaky suspicion that I already knew that answer.
      “Nikki might tear Relena’s throat out if you get her a gift.”
      “I can get something for her,” Quatre muttered, “she is my guest after all.”
      “We’re all your guests, My Friend.” I reminded him, “You gonna buy us all stuff?”
      Quatre grinned, “Who’s clothes you wearin’, Buddy...”
      I laughed, “Fine.”
      “But I can buy the girls something...” his eyes went distant and I assumed he was imagining their pleased looks at whatever gift he bought them.
      I shook my head, not really caring if he did or not.
      “So shall we ‘borrow’,” Duo spoke up, making air quotes, “A shuttle. Our Gundams are a bit conspicuous...”
      I looked over the wreckage of the Lunar Base, “If we find one...”

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Kyeian